THINGS THAT BOTHER ME:
  ======================
 
  The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no
  genitals.
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  When something is "new and improved", which is it?  If it's new, then
  there has never been anything before it.  If it's an improvement, then
  there must have been something before it.
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  People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the
  TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
  channel manually.
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  When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
  What good is a goddam cake you can't eat?  What, should I eat
  someone else's cake Instead?
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  When people say "It's always in the last place you look".  Of course
  it is.  Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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  When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No,
  I paid $8.50 to come to the theatre and stare at that thing
  over there.
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  People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
  Didn't really give me a choice, did ya?
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  People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.  I know
  where my watch is buddy, where the heck is yours?  Do I point at
  my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?